Purse: Fossil
Do you ever get that, "Man, I'm just not good/pretty/talented/smart/amazing enough" feeling?
Lately, it seems like it's creeping up on me more often than I'd like.
Usually right after I finish perusing through my Google Reader... which is embarrassing, because that means that feeling is being caused by me comparing myself to other bloggers.
It's not something I want to admit to, but if I'm being honest, it's true.
Why do we compare ourselves to others?
Seriously, why? All it does is bring us down.
Sure, I'm never going to be the most-pinned,
the best writer,
the skinniest,
the most stylish,
or any of those materialistic, frivolous, comparable things... and that's OK, because you know what I am?
I am me.
And that's just the way I like it.
Comparing myself to someone else is literally like comparing apples to oranges.
No one else will ever be just like me.
No one else can make Daniel smile like I can.
No one else laughs just the way I do,
or dresses exactly the same as me,
or knows how I think.
Part of what makes us special is that we are all individuals.
Sure, I fit into that category of a "lifestyle" blogger... but no one else has exactly my same tags, my same voice, or the same feeling that my blog has.
I choose the blogs I read on a daily basis because each brings me something special that is so different than what I have to offer... it is refreshing to see the different styles, habits, writing, and photos.
But I need to stop comparing.
Because the thing is—I am good.
I am smart.
And I am pretty darn amazing.
I don't have to be the best to be just the way I am—just me.
So today, as you read this or the other blogs you read... throw any negative thoughts out the window.
Thanks for being you.
69 comments:
What a great post. I especially appreciate it today because I've found myself comparing myself a lot recently, especially in the blogging world.. But I shouldn't because, really, I'm pretty darn happy with who I am...and I wouldn't want my writing to reflect anything other than my world.
nicolakirsty.blogspot.co.uk
Oh, comparison. Definitely the thief of joy (love that quote by Theodore Roosevelt!). Anyway, just wanted to say that I love that you embrace your unique qualities. It's so encouraging to read and a great reminder that God created us to be different in our own ways. Love your heart! :)
I really appreciate you being honest and open about such things. It's easy to forget that everyone else feels inadequate too sometimes; comparison is not the answer. As my dad used to say, sometimes we feel inadequate because we compare everyone else's highlight reel with our behind-the-scenes. I have to remind myself of that constantly, because I'm not the prettiest/skinniest/smartest/best... but I'm me. I'm Raeven, and I'm the only one who can be me. :)
This happens to the best of us! Often I wonder how some bloggers are so successful, stay on top of daily posts, have tons and tons of readers, have better clothes & a better body than I do . . . but you know? You're totally right about our individuality, and honestly, everyone has struggles, even if they're not blogging about it! Keep your chin up. :)
I am struggling with this right now. I go through spurts. Sometimes I'm all, "Life is awesome, it's my oyster!" and other times I think that I can't do better than ANYONE.
I try to tell myself that EVERYONE goes through this. We all have those fears and we just need to remember that we are the only US there is, you know? Each of us is unique and each of us has our own wonderful things and our own downfalls. No one has everything perfect.
Wow - great post, girl!
http://therealfoodrunner.blogspot.com
Don't compare and don't change. I love who you are
You. Are. Wonderful. Can't thank you enough for this. :)
I love this blog post and I love how conscious the blog world lately has been of individuality, uniqueness, and being different! I think we've hit a point where everyone's been realizing the down side of comparison, and it's really changing things! :) Thanks for writing this!
i really really loved this. it's tough not comparing yourself to others. we're humans, it's just what we do. your words are so encouraging! thank you for posting them :)
Thanks Amanda. You're right... we can be *so quick *to think someone's else life is *so perfect* (I can think of scores of bloggers who I've had this thought about), yet we have NO IDEA what really goes on. Honesty, being open, and getting a true glimpse are important to me! Thanks for understanding & supporting me through it!
What a wonderful quote. Thank you for sharing it. I've never heard it before but it couldn't be more true!
Your mom gave you the best gift of all :) what a beautiful viewpoint!
You're right! And even if we have a similar feel, similar posts, or similar etc... no one is quite the same. It's beautiful!
Thank you so much, Niken! And thank you for being that person for me this time :) I really appreciate that.
Ha! Speaking of riches, some bloggers do have all that and a bag of chips, huh? I live very modestly in comparison to some, but that's the beauty of it, too! We all do what works best for us :) Thanks for your awesome take!
I love that you said "embracing our flaws." Sometimes we look at ourselves and think, "Man, I'm a mess because of this. Or I hate this about my body, etc." When we look at those things and remember that we can USE them, it's wonderful! Thanks for reminding me of that!
And some of the covers (like books) can be REALLY pretty, so it's hard not to be fooled! But you're right, we do present our best selves. Sometimes I really struggle with putting my hardships out there. It's hard to respect the privacy of others, too, like Daniel for instance. I may want to talk all about a disagreement or "fun time" we had, but he'd rather I don't get that personal. It's hard to gauge just how real a person is until you actually sit down and get to know them... so you're exactly right!
That is just perfect. You're so right. We are MADE this way for a reason, a very specific reason. Thank you for this perfect and faithful reminder :)
Thank you! You're so sweet! I love blogs that have rich writing accompanied by pretty photos. It makes it all come together in a big post of wonderful-ness :) if that even makes sense.
I think you're 100% right. And I'm sure you read the comment I left on that post. It was really well-done. We need to celebrate ourselves :)
You're right, these feelings usually do always lead to something big! Thanks for getting my hopes up :) Yay!
Thank you so much, Becca. When you're able to be honest with others, that's being honest with yourself... and that's so incredibly important. Sometimes I will omit things on here to protect others (like if Daniel and I don't get along about something), but I don't fluff it up and make it seem like it's a big happy jubilee all the time. Thank YOU for being real and for coming here each day for a little bit of real "sauce." That means more to me than I can put into words.
Ha! I wish I looked as polished as you in my business clothing. You pull it off in the sleekest manner!
And thanks for your visits. They make me smile. Big time.
Thanks Kiki! He sure did know what he was doing, huh? What a beautiful mind :)
What a cool quote that your dad shared! I will remember that and stick it in my pocket for another moment. In fact, can I quote you (or rather, your dad) on that sometime? I love it :) Thanks for being wonderful.
Thank you, friend. You've always been a good friend since I started these blogs. Your encouragement helps keep me going!
That makes me so happy! Thank you SO MUCH! Share the link here, will you, so everyone can see your fun post?
DEBRA! FRIEND! It works!! Thank you for being a great support. It's amazing how I have so many friends online... I never expected to find such a beautiful community when I started blogging. I'm so thankful for it... and YOU! :)
you should never ever feel that way because you are AWESOME. x
Aw, thanks. Your post just gave me the chills a little. I'm just starting out and finding my voice so reading other blogs gives me inspiration, but also makes me feel way self conscious.
Im blogging to push myself, not to be competitive with others or to drag myself down by comparing.
Why is it so hard to learn to love yourself sometimes?
Once Upon The Hill
Thats such a good statement, I LOVE THAT! Im so writing that one down. :)
Here it is :-): http://kristinsveranda.com/vignettes/2013/02/22/fashion-and-fabulous-finds-friday-3/
Great post! I do the same thing but have been better at catching myself lately! Because, honestly, I really don't know what the person who I am I think has it all is going through. And instead of counting my blessings and enjoying the moment I spend all my energy on something negative. And we all know that is never good!
I seriously needed this. I've been feeling this way so often recently that this is just what I needed to hear. Thank you!
You're such an inspiration and I love reading all of your posts! It gives me hope that maybe I can do all the things I love in the day and not neglect the things I love because of work. :) keep being you! So many people love you and look up to you!
You're not alone!
Hope you had a great weekend!
-Sheree
The Hartungs Blog
thehartungs.blogspot.ca
You're terrific just the way you are! I'm with you on comparing but I think that's just human nature. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll always be amazing!
xoxo
readeatcreate.com
Carly, keep it up! Finding the voice I wanted to have was (and still is) the most fun process. Keep up your reasons for blogging, they're what will keep your head up and keep you happy :) Sounds like you've got it all in the right spot!
Thanks Kristin! You're so awesome for sharing. PS> LOVE that your about photo has you down as a Ravenclaw. Totally made me smile!
Oh wow, thank you so much for lifting me up like that, Natalie! It means a lot!
Hi Aunie!!! Look...it works on my pc but not kindle. Sigh...Thanks for being real. Your blog is an inspiration. Blessings!!
Debra@stylewisebydebra.blogspot.com
Aunie. I loved this post. Thank you for sharing your honest feelings, and for encouraging all of us to embrace who we are! I'm featuring this post on my Fabulous Finds Friday - more people need to read this!!! Happy weekending :-)
We don't dress exactly the same, but we're close, right? ;) Just kidding, girl!
You are quite a stellar person, and I hope you know that. Please. Don't try to be or blog like anyone else, because we come here to read THIS blog and "visit" with YOU. I like it that way, thank you very much!
I'm so sorry you feel this way. I think as women we do this more often than we should to ourselves. I read your blog because of how honest and real you are when you write. I think the reason you have so many people who love your blog is because of how true you are to yourself. I feel like we can tell that from the way you write.
I have a hard time reading other ladies blogs that make their life, marriage and relationships perfect and easy because mine is far from perfect. I struggle in my marriage and when I read people's blogs and they're constantly talking about how fantastic their marriage is it makes me jealous. I don't like that feeling. When I write about my marriage I'm completely honest, we fight and argue and sometimes we're just downright mean to each other. We don't put on a front and act like everything is bunny's and rainbows when it clearly is not.
Thanks for the honesty! I've totally been having one of those days where I am crippled by the fear of failure, so I don't even try to succeed. I need to count my blessings, look at my strengths and begin just plugging away!
By the way, I usually find that days like this are a sign that something BIG and WONDERFUL is coming! If we can hold on tight & try to see the good in the scenario (like what you're doing) the light at the end of the tunnel will soon come!
It seems like comparison has become second nature, analyzing our own life as we get a peek into someone else's.
While it's completely natural, we so easily forget about how far along WE'VE come. To get to where you are today took strength and determination. It's worth recognizing - and celebrating.
This is something I wrote about if you'd like to read more, http://betweendreamstheblog.blogspot.ca/2013/01/celebrate-yourself-3-simple-tips.html
I think it's time we start giving ourselves more credit :)
You are amazing! That's why I read your blog ;) And the other blogs I read...well, I read them because the writer behind it is amazing too! That's what's great about blogging! We get little tastes of the live's of others that are so different from our own! :)
I am so glad you posted this! This is so real around me lately. So many girls at my church or girls on Google+ or just through emailing have said things like, "i'm not pretty enough" or "i'm not funny or smart like you" or just "i'm ugly". It hurts my heart. If we say we aren't good enough, we are saying that God did a crappy job when he created us. And that's stupid, because he never makes mistakes! You are beautiful because He made you and he calls you beautiful. And don't you ever forget it, Aunie. :)
I am so glad you posted this! I feel the same way most of the time. I try very hard to remember that we present our best selves on the internet, and that blogger that looks perfect may have a lot of other things going on that she doesn't share with the internet. Her house may be a huge mess, but she only took a photo of the one perfectly styled area. Or she spent a reaaalllyy long time on hair and makeup before snapping that photo. Or she's in debt up to her eyeballs to have all those awesome items she blogs about. I've learned never to judge a blog by it's cover :)
You ARE smart and beautiful and wonderful. I seriously think you are fantastic. I know how you feel though. I feel like that basically every other day. I actually posted about it a couple days ago! I think we as women are especially hard on ourselves. We compare ourselves to others and demand perfection out of ourselves instead of embracing our flaws and striving to be the best we can be. Love you and your blog pretty lady! storiesofkel.blogspot.com
I think all bloggers go through this. I'm not as rich as 99% of the bloggers I follow, but I know that I work hard and am wise with my money so I just tell myself that. There will always be SOMEONE who is better at things than you- it's the truth. But think- there are things you are better at than them as well :)
of course, i feel that feeling sometimes. and i think everyone's the same.
i don't completely understand why we compare ourselves to others. maybe because we're seeking for perfection-i don't really know. but what i'm grateful for, is that everytime i feel that way, there's someone who reminds me of who iam. there are people who love you whole-heartedly. and Aunie, you're loved.
Love this post! I had written one similar on my blog, but never published it! I totally agree with you when you say we are all unique and no one is going to be able to do exactly what we do. I feel that is what is so great about the blogging world is because we get to show how unique we are and what we can do.
I'm pretty sure the reason I've never really experienced too much of the problem of comparison is because my Mom instilled into me from a young age the idea that I was created for a reason and blessed with different gifts for a reason and that I should always be joyful to just be me! I'm so grateful for that lesson--I've never wanted to be anyone else than who I am, and I think that is such a helpful thing to realize in life!
I love the quote "Comparison is the thief of joy"...It's so true. Keep being you because that is the BEST that you can offer the world :)
xoxo
I've learned that in the blogging world it's very easy to look at people's blogs and judge (oh her life must be perfect etc) so it's nice to see true feelings and and some honesty :) I love it!
Love this post! You're right, it's so easy to compare ourselves to each other. But we all have something unique to offer, I'm working on trying to remember that!
Carly
www.lipglossandcrayons.com
You are pretty darn amazing and one of the sweetest girl ever!
I feel this way alllll the time. I feel very comforted when I read that others do too, and love to be reminded that I only have to be me!
xo Shay
Great post :)
i feel the same way. recently too like you said. so sick of everyone always trying to "out do" one another.
Amen sister! I have these exact thoughts....and these thoughts are the ones that get the best of me and tell me that I should quit blogging because I can't keep up or don't have something special or unique to offer. It's silly to see my thoughts actually written in black and white..but thanks for prompting them! xo
YES! It's so easy to compare ourselves to other bloggers, but each of us has something special that makes others keep coming back! I think I'd get bored if every blog was identical.
Hey Raeven. Wanted to let you know I shared your beautiful quote in a post today. Thanks for sharing it with all of us! http://www.auniesauce.com/2013/03/the-beauty-behind-scenes.html
I just saw your reply to this! I'm so glad that you did share it; it's helped me and I think it's a GREAT quote! :)
I just found your blog a couple of days ago and I love it! I love this post too, I'm forever comparing and feeling down about not having as much time to work on my blog and business as others do, I'll get there one day but until then I'm happy with what I do...most of the time! Xx
sianlouise.co.uk
well and it's from your dad so YEAH it's a great quote!
It's crazy *how amazing *some blogs are... but you're right, a lot of them work A LONG TIME on them each and every day! I think you're doing so great! You just keep being you... we love it!
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